Cold Showers

Wanda: Otto, what are you doing?

Otto: It’s a Buddhist meditation technique. It focuses your aggression. The monks used to do it before they went into battle.

For those of you who have not watched A Fish Called Wanda, you won’t be familiar with the quoted exchange. It is a movie chock ful’ of very funny dialogue and scenes. It is highly recommended (especially since it is the kind of movie that would either: a) never get made today, or b) get made and then get immediately cancelled.)

The reason I recall that particular quote is because I’ve started taking cold showers every morning. They help me focus my aggression. Toward my son, Holden, who is responsible for me taking a cold shower every morning. I imagine him sitting in his dorm room, two thousand miles away, smirking and smug while I suffer through yet another cold shower. He’s laughing at me because he’s managed to punk his father into doing something ridiculous. Meanwhile, as the ice cold water hits my back and sends a literal chill up my spine, I am yelling his name, over and over and over. The shocking cold focuses my aggression toward my son. I am ready to do battle. With him.

Ok, I don’t really yell at him every morning during my cold shower. I also feel no (or almost no) aggression toward him. I started the cold showers because he said it was a good idea- we reviewed some of the data out there about the purported benefits. But the truth is that I decided to start because of what he said to me: you have to be determined and disciplined to do it. Besides anyone can stand anything for 10 seconds.

Now that I’m up to a minute, I’m pretty sure I could stay in for 10 minutes. You get kinda numb after while. The only reason I don’t is because I gotta get to work and its a waste of water. He’s right- you CAN stand anything for 10 seconds if you’re determined. Now I’ve actually gotten to the point where it doesn’t feel right if I DON’T start my day with a cold shower. 

And I swear I can hear him laughing under his breath all the way from Florida.