I believe that civil rights in America should only be conferred based on merit and race
I believe that the core statement of the American declaration of independence (life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness) should be replaced by “me first, fuck you, and my pursuit of my happiness”
I believe we should abolish both Congress and the Judicial branches of the US government and replace them with Joel Osteen
I believe that science should be outlawed
I believe that immigration should be illegal (unless it involves white people or Asians who are good at math)
I believe that Americans have a fundamental right to fear anything or anyone they don’t understand
I believe that red lights and stop signs are optional
I believe that the United States of America should be renamed as the United States of Donald Trump
I believe we should replace fluoride in our drinking water with ivermectin
I believe that fossil fuels help fight climate change (which is totally fake by the way, or at least that's what I'm hearing from a lot of people)
I believe that the national sport of America should be irony